The End Where I Begin

It was 11:50pm on the 8th of July 2015. I needed time to reflect and be grateful. I switched off the phone I was sure many people would call me on and left the other on.
I lay down thinking over one of the many life-changing events of the year. A major heart desire to live alone had come to be.

It was interesting having my own space. I enjoyed the process of decorating my apartment, buying new art pieces for the walls, having a photography wall, colour coordinating my kitchen utensils- that bit was really tricky, finding purple bottom pans was next to impossible.

On the other hand, realistically, it wasn’t fun and excitement at every turn. The constant hassle of planning meals, keeping the apartment clean and all the other stuff was a bit daunting but, this didn’t damper the overall experience.

Mid reflection, my phone rang. It was my friend Ifeoluwa.

‘’Ore mi’’ Ife said when I answered,

‘’Bawo Ni’’ she continued, she didn’t give me the opportunity to respond, very typical of her.

‘’Our ICAN result is out" she said. There was a slight pause before she added "I didn’t pass, have you checked yours?"

I shook my head, forgetting to speak; I had quickly plunged into a journey of fear to a dark place.

‘’Are you there?’’ those words brought me back.

‘’I haven’t seen mine, I will check now’’ I hurriedly said.

‘’Okay!! Check and let me know’’ with that, the call ended.


I turned my phone on with shaking hands, and watched it come to life. It vibrated, indicating messages coming in. I opened the one that read ‘’ICAN PROFESSIONAL," it read in block letters ‘’YOU FAILED’’. My heart dropped and my eyes misted. It was 12:02am July 9th, 2015 my 23rd birthday.