8th July 2015
You are about to get a text from ICAN that would make you feel like your world is crumbling and someone is twisting your insides. I need you to know that this isn’t the end of the world and your insides are fine.
I know your birthday is tomorrow and you want to stay in bed and wallow in self-pity. Please don’t plan a trip to the dam, Mo will take the best photos of you and Tofu would surprise you with a cake for the first time since your fifth birthday.
Cut your hair, it is long overdue don’t worry it would grow, take longer walks, have longer conversations with Aunty Kemi and Mr Mayor they have an arsenal of knowledge you would need in the coming months. Stop running to Lagos every weekend, you would miss Ilorin so much when you leave and not have the opportunity to visit.
Your holiday to Ibadan would be life changing, your inspiration for life would be renewed and you will meet and accidentally fall for someone, don’t think too much of it, just go with it. This experience would make you very happy, sad and angry, all at the same time. You can choose to avoid this all together by not having a conversation about the Civil War. This is totally up to you.
You will have another episode of depression and thoughts about dying, talk to someone about it; it isn’t bad to ask for help. Mama is trying, cut her some slack open your mouth let her know what is going on, let her know how you are feeling. Communication will make a lot of things easier to deal with in the coming months.
Don’t be Afraid; fear would keep you from a lot of adventures, go to places on the spur of the moment; the things you worry about currently wouldn’t matter in a few months.
Lastly google ‘’Bethel Music’’ and ‘’Shima Yam’’ you would thank me later